WATCH CELEBRITY HYPOCRISY

“If you don't have the money to do things, you probably should not do those things. And, you know, you can fire a festival, this thing, I suppose. What is it? General admission is $799? That's, that that's general? I mean, it seems like if if you're wasting that much money, you may as well get the VIP admission. Right? Like, VIP is $1,300. So I feel like if you're already broke, you may as well be dead ass broke.”

“Now let's be real about this. I mean, Justin Bieber could do anything up there and get paid $10,000,000. So, you know, everybody who's upset with him, I guess, for for not, what, doing, like, a pyrotechnic spectacular? Why? Why are you upset? You want to see Justin Bieber. He showed up. He did his authentic thing, and, you know, good for him. That's a man making his money right there.”

“First of all, that is hilarious. But, also, that's the thing that upsets you about Justin Trudeau is that he's using single use plastic, not that he's a douchebag who wrecked your country and also is now dating a a pop star who's way past her prime. I cannot stand that 54 year olds in our society act as though they're 20. It drives me crazy. It drives me up a wall.”

“I don't know what's going on with Katy Perry. I mean, Katy Perry, all these middle aged women cosplaying as 21 year old girls is is really kind of silly. It's really silly. How old is Katy Perry at this point? She's 40. I mean, Justin—Oh, yeah. 41. She's 41. And how old is is this ridiculous idiot over here? This doofus dressed like he's in seventh grade. He is 54 years old, and he's dressing like he is 17 years old.”

“I know they're mad at Sabrina Carpenter for for not knowing what that was, which is like, who cares? Also, like, that's what's pissing you off? Of all the things she does, that's the one that got you? Why did she just say, I'm sorry I didn't recognize the call. Like, why why why does she have to apologize in the first place? That's so stupid.”