How Charlize Theron Overcame Her Dark Family Past

Key Takeaways

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  Winning an Oscar felt impossible for South Africans

  “The first thing that came to mind was just, this is something that doesn't happen to girls in South Africa. Like, you know, it's like, I remember looking at a map, and I was like, God, we're all the way down here. What's going on up there? I remember like feeling very lucky that I made it out here, and like my greatest dream, like my like lottery win would have been to be able to support myself as an actor and not have a second job.”

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  South African upbringing was defined by violence

  “Violence and turmoil was something that was like everyday life in South Africa. If you got in the car, if I went to the bank with my mom, that was something that you just saw on the side of the roads. And for sure, I saw things that I shouldn't have seen at a very young age concerning violence because that was just the circumstances. So there was a lot of talk constantly about apartheid.”

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  Growing up with a functioning alcoholic father

  “He was a full-blown functioning drunk. But he had moments in his life where he would kind of like go missing. Like we just wouldn't know where he was. And he would usually kind of return in a state that was pretty severe. And that's, you know, it would get messy and loud and my mom's not a wallflower either. So she wasn't just like sitting and taking it.”

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  Toxic silence followed frequent verbal domestic abuse

  “The worst thing was they would ice each other. They wouldn't talk to each other for like, there was like a big fight and then they wouldn't talk to each other for like three weeks. And I didn't have siblings and my house just went silent. It just went totally silent. Like no one would even say good morning to each other. And like I would be so scared to say something.”

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  Chaos at home forced early emotional independence

  “I felt like my independence also had to just come from like an emotional place. My house wasn't always stable. And so I felt very responsible to make sure that I was taken care of. There was this kind of thing that by the time I moved out of the house, I knew how to take care of myself on many levels.”

Episode Description

The Oscar-winning actress reflects on pain, healing and becoming an action hero.  Thoughts? Email us at theinterview@nytimes.com Watch our show on YouTube: youtube.com/@TheInterviewPodcast For transcripts and more, visit: nytimes.com/theinterview   Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.