LABEL EMOTIONS

“But anxiety is a good thing. It's saying there's perceived uncertainty around the future. Like, I'm anxious about how I'm gonna act in this environment or how I'm gonna be perceived as an environment. It's not a bad thing, because you wanna be perceived well.”

“ER, which is emotion regulation, is a set of goals and strategies. It's a goal oriented process. You have to want to regulate. You can prevent unwanted emotions. I have an acronym for that too. It's PRIME. You can prevent unwanted emotions. You can reduce the difficult ones. I think people forget the I—initiate emotions—like when you're teaching or leading or presenting.”

“Most of the time, our emotions are in the background. Emotions matter when there's a shift in our environment or the relationships you know? If you said something that offended me, boom. I'm activated. I'm feeling angry or kinda shocked. Then I have to make a choice in that moment, like, how do I manage it?”

“I think that we have to learn how to adopt a mindset around emotions that there are no bad emotions. It's what we do with our emotions that makes them harmful or difficult for us to live our lives. But if you automatically assume it's bad, then it's gonna put you on the path to dysregulation.”

“You got to know what you're feeling because the feeling... is going to drive the strategy selection. That labeling piece is really important. ... Anxiety, uncertainty around the future. ... Stress is having too many demands and not enough resources. Pressure or something at stake is dependent upon your behavior. Fear is immediate danger.”

“Have you ever noticed that we call it incidental leakage? ... You're irritable, you really haven't processed it, and you get maybe to the studio here, and then maybe people are trying to interact with you, but you're not like the best version of you. ... you're no longer going to displace that or project it or take it out on somebody else. That's what we're trying to help people do.”

“What we found in our research is that [emotional intelligence was] highly predictive of the culture of a school, highly predictive of burnout, highly predictive of job satisfaction, frustration levels were 40% lower in schools where there were leaders with these skills. That's what people are looking for these days, more so than anything else, more so than beforehand.”

“The thought today for many boys and men to be emotional... emotional alone has a connotation of feminine and out of control. That's just the way people think about it. ... vulnerability, especially for men, is weak. You got to be tough. ... We have socialized it. The socialization piece is really important because even the way fathers talk to their boy children is different.”

“But anxiety is a good thing. It's saying there's perceived uncertainty around the future. Like, I'm anxious about how I'm gonna act in this environment or how I'm gonna be perceived as an environment. It's not a bad thing, because you wanna be perceived well.”

“A lot of people think emotion regulation is getting rid of a feeling. It's not what it is, it's just having another relationship to it. I've had anxiety or lived with it for a lot of my life, but sometimes I just say hello to it. It's like, hey, how are you doing today? And it goes away pretty quickly, or it just sits there.”

“My automatic habitual response was going to be, who the F do you think you are? ... But Marc... has a process. He automatically takes the breath. He automatically builds a space. He automatically takes a step back. He does not go on that gut. He says, there's a better way, but that's not enough. So now I have to think about my best version of myself.”

“Most of the time, our emotions are in the background. Emotions matter when there's a shift in our environment or the relationships you know? If you said something that offended me, boom. I'm activated. I'm feeling angry or kinda shocked. Then I have to make a choice in that moment, like, how do I manage it?”

“A lot of people think emotion regulation is getting rid of a feeling. It's not what it is. It's just having another relationship to it. I've had anxiety or lived with it for a lot of my life, but sometimes I just say hello to it. It's like, hey. How are you doing today? And it goes away pretty quickly, or it just sits there.”

“I identify as a person who exercises. It's like just who I am. My vision for the world is that we cultivate people who identify as well regulated. Because if you walk into a room thinking to yourself, I got this, nothing you can say can trigger me. I can get through this or I can manage my emotions.”

“I think that we have to learn how to adopt a mindset around emotions that there are no bad emotions. It's what we do with our emotions that makes them harmful or difficult for us to live our lives. But anxiety is a good thing. It's saying there's perceived uncertainty around the future. It's not a bad thing, because you want to be perceived well.”

“ER, which is emotion regulation, is a set of goals and strategies. It's a goal oriented process. You have to want to regulate. You can prevent unwanted emotions. I have an acronym for that too. It's PRIME. You can prevent unwanted emotions. You can reduce the difficult ones. I think people forget the I—initiate emotions—like when you're teaching or leading or presenting.”

“A lot of people think emotion regulation is getting rid of a feeling. It's not what it is. It's just having another relationship to it. I've had anxiety or lived with it for a lot of my life, but sometimes I just say hello to it. It's like, hey. How are you doing today? And it goes away pretty quickly, or it just sits there.”

“I think that we have to learn how to adopt a mindset around emotions that there are no bad emotions. It's what we do with our emotions that makes them harmful or difficult for us to live our lives. But if you automatically assume it's bad, then it's gonna put you on the path to dysregulation.”