EMBRACE FLAWS

“I wanted to create an environment or a situation where these two men would meet, and also almost create a suspension of reality. They are stuck in this bleak remote location. The hotel is terrible. They're trapped by this landslide, and there's an air of unreality about it all. I also thought it would be fun because normally that kind of setting is reserved for a kind of murder mystery, where people slowly start getting bumbled off one by one.”

“He's not based on anyone in particular, certainly. But I just wanted him to be real. And by that, I mean, I wanted him to be flawed. By contrast with Pavan, again, I wanted to not fall into the trap of making him this sort of saintly figure, you know, which is why there is an incident in the book which quests his actions and what we perceive as his strong moral core. With both of these characters, I just wanted them to be as flawed as anyone we might meet in real life.”

“I was very clear about how it would end, and that's never really happened to me before, which also goes to show that each writing experience, each new project, it really can teach you things about yourself and how you work. So Hope, I would say, is what I would like people to take away from this, but also a wider sense of how societies control people's lives.”

“I really did enjoy writing the scene where Pavan goes into a cake shop to buy a cake to celebrate the decriminalization. He's, as we discussed earlier, he's not sure whether he has a right to celebrate, but he does it anyway. He goes in, he buys a piece of cake, and he very carefully carries it all the way home. And he has that quiet moment just by himself where he achieves a kind of celebration.”

“Again, how all of this has very often played out in India, depends on the level of privilege that you enjoy in your life anyway. So, for example, if you were trans or a sex worker or something like that, your chances of being harassed by the police are infinitely greater than someone who hosts wild parties at their lavish farmhouse outside Delhi. You know, these are multiple ways of being queer that have always existed and will continue to exist.”

“You mentioned in your introduction the date in September 2018 when the judgment was handed down that decriminalized homosexuality. So I think that was really the starting point. I remember, as so many of us do, where I was on that day, the judgment came through in the afternoon. And a lot of us were, you know, glued to our social media. We were watching TV. We were just waiting because this judgment has had a long and torturous journey to the Supreme Court.”

“But he also feels that he doesn't have a right to take part in any celebrations. He doesn't have a right to participate in any jubilation or anything positive surrounding this news, because he has always been closeted. But then it strikes him that no one is expecting him to have paid that price in any case. What solidarity means is that everyone takes everyone else along with them.”

“I found Audrey Neville's mother quite difficult to write because I didn't want to create this cliched, austere, religious mother who is a bit of a battle axe or who just glowers from rooms. And for me, the switch really came when I decided to make her really, really attractive. It's just that this juxtaposition between an extremely religious and austere figure who's also found to be so attractive by men, chased virtually down the street by them, a woman of her age with a grown-up son.”

“In terms of process, I think writing a novel, so much of it is about stamina, and it's just about finishing that first draft. So if it is a novel, for me, that word count would be 800 words a day, because I know that that gives me a sense of momentum, a sense of progress as I continue through the days and the weeks. But also, it has got to be achievable. I know that if I told myself 2,000 words today, it is not going to happen, and I would feel utterly rubbish at the end of the day.”