BUY ORLANDO

“Will pulling a Paul George become a thing? Every aging star dealing with injuries should be taken tons of alleged HGH and other alleged banned substance get stronger and recover faster. The penalty of caught is a twenty plus game midseason vacation, which you probably would have missed anyway via load management, leaving you more time to recover and train. They come back healthier and better just in time to spin up for the playoffs.”

“This playoffs really feels like the Knicks fans have passed the Laker fans from a star power standpoint. That was a pretty impressive fivesome that they had trotted out. I was like, wow. This is good. The lakers are really struggling as Jack is getting older. They've really struggled with star power.”

“I think the streaming revolution of the last seven years was secretly pushed by big advertisement. Before streaming, I never watched a commercial in my life. When the game went to break, I flipped channels. If I was watching on DVR, I fast forwarded. Now I'm taking every second of commercials in because it takes too long to get out of the Amazon or Peacock app.”

“Denver earned that title. It was legit. You can pave it however you saw the path because they encountered this and that. Like, every champion of the last fifty years has those kinds of things. The only one within modern era that you could possibly take issue with is the bubble. The summer camp championship that the Lakers won.”

“Why does following Rory McIlroy and following the Celtics feel like the exact same emotional roller coaster? They both give me the most hope for success to a fan while also giving me the greatest chance of a dramatic collapse. The Celtics lost two twenty point leads against the Knicks last year. McIlroy ties the round with Scott in the eighteenth in Ryder Cup. The heat upset the Celtics in the playoffs. Rory throws a four shot final round lead in the Masters in 2011.”

“Detroit, all the things they do to exert their will and their physicality on everybody else don't work as well against Orlando because Orlando is as big and strong and nasty as the Pistons are. You said a key word which is health. Anthony Black is back and Franz Wagner is back. Maybe that's just part of what this is and why we didn't see this team together the whole year. When Suggs is in the lineup, I've called him the skeleton key of their team before.”

“Orlando looked awesome against Charlotte in the last playoff game, and they just have oscillated between this like, we're dead, we're dying, we're going to break up the whole team to like, oh my God, this is the team that everyone thought we would be when our over was 50 and a half, and some people like this idiot right here took the over. I just, once they beat Charlotte like that, I was like, maybe they'll just carry this momentum a little bit further. I don't know what this means for the rest of the series, but super impressive start by them.”

“The Cavs had a social media playoff theme in 2026 that they called be the fucking difference. But they blotted out all the letters in fucking and just kept the c. So the T shirts read, b, the c diff. And then, apparently, c diff is the shorthand for Clostridates Difficile, which is a bacterial infection, severe watery diarrhea, and abdominal pain.”

“The Celtics in the last five playoffs, including the 22 when they made the finals, twenty five and eleven on the road and twenty four and seventeen at home, just over and over again. I don't know how many times they've lost as big favorites, but it's already happened twice this series.”

“I got this email from a guy named Parker who had more ideas for Tom Dundon to save money. One of them, he had stuff like, on the bench, only have seats for the coaches for the two best coaches, and everybody else give to paying customers because you can make more courtside stuff. Use unpaid people to clean up the court halftime shows just don't have a halftime show at all.”

“For the most part, when I see that, I just quit on the team completely. So I can't even imagine what it's like to be an Orlando Magic fan right now. Because there's no way after the Philly playing game, there's no way anyone could have believed in Orlando after those two games, right? So now it's like, maybe that's what happened. They had to hit rock bottom. Maybe they had some great team meeting that we don't know about.”

“KD's ability to do it across, what is it, five golds? That that is something that needs to be mentioned. It's a top line on the resume for me. One of the top four lines on the resume. And the same goes for Melo. When those guys play with their peers and their peers find them and their peers revere the performance at that level, that to me just says so much about who that player is in their era.”

“Suggs has been, the minutes have been all over the place this year for him. Even in the playing game on Friday, I think he played 22 minutes. But he played 36 today. And really looked like the Suggs from the guy that basically got that giant contract. Just a two way, all over the place, most annoying player possible, everywhere, hands touching everything. So they had that.”

“The only way for the Celtics to stop Embiid was, to encourage him to shoot more threes. And at halftime, he went in having missed six of them and said, you know what? Maybe I should step inside the three point line, distribute some. The Sixers shot seven of 12 from the three point line in the third quarter, and Embiid made seven of his first nine shots in in the third quarter, and that swung the entire game.”

“LeBron averaging 27, seven and seven over 1,600 plus games, but never playing a single game that had the stat line twenty seven, seven and seven. I feel like it's more likely his points record gets broken than whatever the hell that record is. It's the perfect metaphor for a guy whose historical consistency never stops changing and evolving.”

“I'm subscribing to the theory that there is some dysfunction in the decision making. Guys are not all on the same page inside the building at Houston because the Reed Shepherd bit is inexplicable. Our guy, Raheem Palmer, has been loudly all season long saying, you've got to get Sheppard his minutes. It doesn't matter how you feel about his contribution. He needs to be ready for right now because Houston, for whatever reason, thought they could play this season without a point guard.”

“They basically took Duren out of the game. I voted for him, second team All-NBA. He was like an afterthought. He might as well have been a backup center. And they really bullied him and didn't let him get any of the pick and roll stuff. And Pistons moved back to being the Cade-centric team. That was our biggest fear with them in the playoffs. It's like Cade or Bust. I don't know how they did it in two hours.”