13: 13 Misconceptions about Discipleship

“First one is, you have to be young or in college. Yeah, I think there's, college students are more available than those who are married with kids and with high demanding jobs. So maybe it's a little easier to go after, but it's definitely not just for college students. So college students may have a little bit more time, may even be able to disciple more people at the same time. But if you've got a lot of young kids at home, if you're in a job, and you can only engage with maybe one person over a number of years, great. At the end of the day, it's not about production primarily, but about faithfulness and moving forward in relationship.”

“Number two, you don't have time. But we all have the same amount of time, right? No matter where you live, no matter what culture you live in, no matter how many kids you have, you have the same amount of time. So that's a little bit of a tongue in cheek answer, but it's profound as well. It all comes down to how we prioritize and allocate our time.”

“You do have to have been discipled to be able to disciple someone else. That's wrong. That's the misconception. If it was true that you have to have been discipled to disciple and the discipleship is just getting back into the church, then we would all sit back and no one would be discipling anyone. Most of us would have an excuse.”

“You have to wait until someone asks you to disciple them. It can be a real encouragement to someone else if you were to take the initiative. At the end of the day, that's what we have to offer, is the initiative. Oftentimes, that's what God's love even says. It takes the initiative, it takes a little extra risk to initiate with someone. We love because He's loved us first, so we've already been initiated with because of Christ's love for us. So the burden's on us to initiate. And when you initiate, even if someone's not available or they say no, that's fine. It's still success, because you've taken a step, and you've risked.”

“So I remember my first discipling relationship where I asked someone if they wanted to meet with me. I drugged my feet for months and months and months. I was afraid. I was scared that it was gonna be awkward, that I wouldn't know what to do. And once I finally asked, his name was Kyle, if he wanted to meet with me, it was a little awkward even in that moment, but it wasn't too bad. He said yes. And so I remember our first meeting when we started meeting. It was slightly awkward. I told him, I'm not quite sure what to do. And he said, me neither. And it was a little awkward. And I think I said, this is a little awkward. And he said, not too bad. And so we pushed through it.”

“Number nine, you have to meet in a coffee shop. Misconception, we're not even in a coffee shop right now. Lizzie shared a couple weeks ago when we preached on this, when we talked about this, she shared how her first disciple-making experience was going grocery shopping, I think she said, and that that was great. Great conversations happened as it went. That's awesome. A lot of folks go for a walk or a run.”

“And a lot of times, it's people like to follow those who are leading with a limp. And so if you try to come across, if you have it all together, that's really hard to follow, and it's off-putting. So let people know your weaknesses and express that you need help too, and lead with a limp.”

“Number 12 is, it's gonna be easy, and you'll be really successful. Unfortunately, this is not a foolproof program you're taking someone through. You're engaging in real relationships in real time with heart-level stuff. Sometimes people will walk away like nothing ever happened after meeting with you. Other times, they'll turn around and blame you for ill in their life. Some even will eventually walk away from Christ, and that can be very difficult. So one thing that might be helpful here is to remember to look for micro movement.”

“Number 13, you gotta do this alone. No, that is a misconception. So, one thing that can, I think, trip people up here is the, I think, very Western American idea that we have to be hyperly private. We wanna keep the circle with things as small as possible, but there will be times when you need help. A lot of traction can be made in that one-on-one discipleship relationship, but everyone needs a team around them.”