1969: The Science of Attraction and Why Dating Is Still Financially Complicated

Key Takeaways

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  Automate your life to build wealth effortlessly

  “We are living in an automatic economy. That economy today is making you automatically rich because you use the technology and the tools to build wealth automatically, or it is making you automatically poor because you have signed up and given people access to your income where you're paying everybody else automatically. So the key is the way your money flows. It has to flow to you first.”

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  Ditch budgets to avoid relationship conflict

  “And I go, David, we just did everything you talked about in your class, except we didn't do that budgeting thing. That thing where you talked about budget, we didn't do that because we tried to budget the first year of our marriage and we almost got divorced over it. So we put everything on autopilot, like you talked about, but we automated everything.”

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  High salaries won't fix poor spending habits

  “The reality of life is this. Nobody's coming to save you financially. You are going to have to save yourself financially, and it's going to get worse, not better. What I thought was if I made more money, then I'd start saving. But when I made $50,000 a year at a college, I was still broke. And then when I made over $100,000 a year, somehow I was still broke.”

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  Pay yourself first by using automatic transfers

  “I would find myself telling people over and over again, the one thing you need to do is make it automatic. What does that mean? It means you have to automate your entire financial life. And I would go through what that meant. And I would say, you have to pay yourself first. What does that mean? And I would explain it.”

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  Stop looking rich and start being rich

  “I sat down at a dining room table in my house, and opened my journal, and said, today is the day you're changing your life. And I wrote to myself a letter, like, David, we're done looking rich and not being rich. No more big hat, no cattle. This is, when we go back to the office tomorrow, we're changing everything.”

Episode Description

We’re diving into modern dating today—and not the glossy, swipe-right version—but the real, complicated, emotionally loaded landscape so many of you are navigating right now. What happens when you’re financially independent… maybe even out-earning your partner… and the old rules no longer apply? Why are some women opting out altogether, saying “I’m good on my own”… while others are leaning into this rising “tradwife” movement as a kind of antidote to burnout and girlboss culture? And in a world of endless options, dating apps, and shifting power dynamics—how do you actually find a relationship that lasts? My guest today is someone who has spent years studying exactly this. Amy Chan is the author of UNSINGLE: How to Date Smarter and Create Love that Lasts and the bestselling Breakup Bootcamp. Dubbed the "scientific Carrie Bradshaw" by The Observer, she has helped thousands of singles transform their love lives through her world-renowned Breakup Bootcamp and Dating Bootcamps. And in our conversation, we’re getting into everything—from the psychology of attraction and why dating feels so exhausting right now… to how money, ambition, and identity are reshaping relationships in real time… and what it really takes to build love that lasts. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.