#1081 - Erica Komisar - The Permanent Impact of Divorce on Children

Key Takeaways

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  Modern feminism inadvertently masculinized motherhood - by pushing women into patriarchal corporate structures that devalue caregiving, the movement encouraged mothers to treat children as secondary accessories to their professional careers.

  “The messaging should have been, work outside the home, is something you should have the right to choose... but it shouldn't replace nurturing your children.”

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  Nurturing is a behaviorally inherited characteristic rather than a pure instinct - research on mammals suggests that the ability to care for offspring is passed down through behavioral modeling, meaning maternal neglect can create a cycle across generations.

  “If a mother could not lick and groom her young, she did not pass down the ability to lick and groom to the next generation. Now that's not genetic. That's called the inheritance of acquired characteristics.”

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  Maternal presence is a biological non-negotiable for child health - the first three years of life are a critical window where a mother's oxytocin-driven nurturing serves as the essential foundation for a child's lifelong emotional resilience.

  “If you treat your job as the main outfit and your children as an accessory, your children will not grow up healthy.”

Episode Description

Erica Komisar is a psychoanalyst, parenting expert, and author. Why do we assume kids will be okay after divorce? As separation becomes more common, the long-term impact on a child’s development is often overlooked. So what actually happens, and can divorce ever be done without damage? Expect to learn what most adults misunderstand about how deeply divorce affects kids, why constant parental conflict causes damage to children so deeply and what it does to a child’s stress system and brain development, why 50-50 custody might be a terrible idea for children, what the long-term psychological consequences are from a neglectful parent and much more… Sponsors: See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: ⁠⁠https://chriswillx.com/deals⁠⁠ Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period from Shopify at https://shopify.com/modernwisdom Get a Free Sample Pack of LMNT’s most popular flavours with your first purchase at https://drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom Get 15% off your first order of my favourite Non-Alcoholic Brew at https://athleticbrewing.com/modernwisdom Get 35% off your first subscription on the best supplements from Momentous at https://livemomentous.com/modernwisdom Extra Stuff: Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: ⁠⁠https://chriswillx.com/books⁠⁠ Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: ⁠⁠https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom⁠⁠ Episodes You Might Enjoy: #577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: ⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Goggins⁠⁠ #712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: ⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Peterson⁠⁠ #700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: ⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Huberman⁠⁠ - Get In Touch: Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx⁠⁠ Twitter: ⁠⁠https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast⁠⁠ Email: ⁠⁠https://chriswillx.com/contact⁠⁠ - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices