Sal Vulcano

“When we start filming, season 13 on Thursday too, it's another thing. Yeah. Wow. It's wild. It's been on for, it's been on there for fifteen years. And have you ever met, like, a child that was, like, conceived during the show? Like, has that ever been a thing? Yeah. People I yeah. People I know people met and got married, and I know I know people somewhere they fuck to it all the time.”

“It is standard medical procedure for a doctor to hold the scrotum whilst asking you to cough and check for it. And I get that, but that shit seems hella. It seemed like the Catholic church is involved in it a little bit because it's it's a little backsplash of uncertainty. But what, how how do we self check our own balls? That's what I would look up.”

“It's, like, nothing to is that we do and say is to be taken seriously. It's all just we're doing shtick the whole time, and we're, like, we're in on the joke, and it's, like, but it's edited really fun. It's, like, edited in, like, little chunks, and it's, like, to look like it's on a old VHS tape. It's, like, it's it's really I don't know. It's just something I just made up, like, a couple years ago when we went on hiatus.”

“Stu and Amy Shankman's wedding, 11/25/1985. Mhmm. That day that we picked it up was 11/25/1995. Mhmm. So I found this blank cassette of this people's wedding on their ten year anniversary. Now back then, you got if you had your wedding taped on VHS, that's where it was. That's it. Like, that was the copy. Yeah. And this was handwritten.”

“She knows all these these color coded emotions. So when she comes home and she's having, like, a because they're gonna, you know, they're gonna have these, like, these it's inevitable for them to the like, when they grow up to have these, like, you know, their tantrums and this. They have to work through all this. It's not it's not like you have a bad kid if they're, like, if they act out. Like, they're gonna be crazy at two and three years old.”

“The Artemis mission are NASA's current program to return humans to the moon and use it as a stepping stone for future trips to Mars. But we wouldn't inhabit another planet. We're not going to. You can't. But So why are we going up there? I guess, you know, I guess we're But that's I don't like that shit when somebody's like, hey. I wanna come visit you, but, really, they're just staying overnight so they can go visit somebody else further away.”

“Animal stars are disappearing from Hollywood primarily due to the rise of sophisticated CGI and AI. I don't know if I feel like that's true, though. Yeah. I mean yeah. Because it's not the same. You don't need to you know what I mean? Right. People know the love of a dog. They want that. They're you're like, you can't replace it.”

“I wrapped it in tinfoil. I put it in my freezer. That was like it's that's come closing in on it's fifth like, fifteen to twenty years ago, and I never got rid of the fish. It's still with me. I have a I have a gold a frozen goldfish in my freezer No. For over fifteen years. That fish is still in my freezer right now.”

“In 1995, I was at the Salvation Army with my buddy, Joe, and we found a VHS cassette. Right? And it was like a home one, not like a movie like you buy, like a, you know, a home like a blank. It had a a label on it, and, it said, Amy and Stu Schenkman's wedding. ... I have your wedding video for the last thirty one years, and I wanna give it to you.”

“It's like background. You know? Like, you put it on anytime. You don't have to, like, follow anything. You just turn it on, and it's good, like, playing in the background. They play it all day long. So you just it's like one of those things, like, when I get to a hotel room, I turn something on, it just, like, plays in the background. So I think people just people are gonna go about their business while it's on.”

“So I went through everything with my daughter, and then, like, she's, like, three and a half now. He's about 16. And, like, you you you it goes so fast. It's so nice to get to do it over again. Because those moments that when they're that young are so fleeting. They change. They're growing so fast. ... It's like you just and you just, it's just really nice to those those stages are the ones that, you know, parents are always like, oh, if I could have my kids back at that age again.”

“I got a new talk show, like, pod coming out called Manoush, which is, like, short for Manoushia. And it's, like, big guest, small talk, but it's, like, it's, like, absurd. It's, like, it goes in and out of conversation and sketch comedy. It's like something just completely different. Yeah. Like, it's, it's it's off the wall. It's really fun. I I shot, like, 10 episodes so far.”

“Perform a testicular self exam monthly. Oh god, dude. I am I am four hundred months behind schedule. Ideally, during or after a warm shower, when the scrotum's relaxed. Yeah. You'd oh, if you got that hard bag, bro. Yeah. You can't do it in, like, the winter. If you feel like it's, like, kind of, like, a feels like a bit of, like, a really ripe avocado, you gotta back off the sack. Yeah. That's right. Using both hands, gently roll each testicle between your thumb and finger to check for hard lumps, smooth bumps.”

“The reason we end up doing this because he was a guest on our show and, we did a bunch of stuff with him. And then he was like, I love this. He's like, I love this more than basketball. He's like, this is what I really wanna do. What? I swear to god. He's like, I this is what this is where I really wish I could do. And we're like, why don't we develop something together? And then we did and got picked up.”

“Pablo Picasso, you know when he died? He died in 1973. Did you know that? I thought he died in 1380. I almost shit. 1973, Picasso had a car. Is that unbelievable? Pablo Picasso was driving around Spain in, like, a Honda Civic listening to Black Sabbath on the radio. That's crazy. Ozzy Osborne and Pablo Picasso were working at the same time. He saw six Super Bowls.”