Anxiety signals perceived uncertainty about the future
“But anxiety is a good thing. It's saying there's perceived uncertainty around the future. Like, I'm anxious about how I'm gonna act in this environment or how I'm gonna be perceived as an environment. It's not a bad thing, because you wanna be perceived well.”
Emotions surface during significant environmental shifts
“Most of the time, our emotions are in the background. Emotions matter when there's a shift in our environment or the relationships you know? If you said something that offended me, boom. I'm activated. I'm feeling angry or kinda shocked. Then I have to make a choice in that moment, like, how do I manage it?”
Regulation changes your relationship with feelings
“A lot of people think emotion regulation is getting rid of a feeling. It's not what it is. It's just having another relationship to it. I've had anxiety or lived with it for a lot of my life, but sometimes I just say hello to it. It's like, hey. How are you doing today? And it goes away pretty quickly, or it just sits there.”
“ER, which is emotion regulation, is a set of goals and strategies. It's a goal oriented process. You have to want to regulate. You can prevent unwanted emotions. I have an acronym for that too. It's PRIME. You can prevent unwanted emotions. You can reduce the difficult ones. I think people forget the I—initiate emotions—like when you're teaching or leading or presenting.”
“I think that we have to learn how to adopt a mindset around emotions that there are no bad emotions. It's what we do with our emotions that makes them harmful or difficult for us to live our lives. But if you automatically assume it's bad, then it's gonna put you on the path to dysregulation.”