David Cross

“I got a hair transplant and it was useless. I did a joke about it. I go, having a hair transplant is like taking people that are healthy and moving them into a neighborhood where everyone's dying. This is just like, where did Bob go? He just fucking flew off the face of the earth.”

“Mine is just... You know, I don't like shaving. I only gain weight in two places. Stomach, and right here. And also I have a kind of a thin frame. So it's really not attractive. It's more laziness. I don't have to worry about it.”

“One thing that... Because I listen to it a lot too, because sometimes you're listening and you're like, this is insane. This is crazy. And he would always, always treat the guest with deference, you know, respect. And I, that must have been, because there were things that were, you know, if you go back to all the episodes, that were kind of contradictory.”

“At the bar, there's a TV. And as you walk towards it, it's playing... It's like staticky until you get closer to it. And then as your character gets closer to it, it's Art Bell talking about aliens and stuff. And I know I'm not doing it justice, but it was such a cool, smart idea.”

“I should have done it a long time ago. It's so much better and I don't have to talk to a barber. I don't have to listen to boring stories while they hold you hostage with a pair of scissors.”